The World's Shortest Vacation
by Spicey the Great
Summary: L gives the task force a short break. Except for him and Light, of course. And that doesn't sit too well with Light. He decides he's getting a vacation whether L likes it or not, and 3 days of fighting, embarrassing situations and awkward flirting ensue.
1. The First Day

**Warnings**: This will definitely have light yaoi (No pun intended. :|), heavier stuff _might _be implied. Maybe some cursing. Because I like cursing, damn it.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything. :D

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By 3 o'clock in the afternoon, Light had given up any attempts to pretend to be working. The investigation had slowed to the speed of 'a dying snail', as Matsuda had sighed earlier. And if _Matsuda _realized it, L had probably figured it out a good couple of days before.

Alright, maybe a week or so.

At any rate, everyone was bored out of their minds as L continued to stubbornly look for leads, insisting that they do so as well. After a certain amount of Matsuda's whining, L had finally (albeit very grudgingly) agreed to let them all have a few days off to clear their minds, and hopefully come back and be of some use to him. He left the last bit unsaid, of course. So, as everyone said their goodbyes and shuffled out of the headquarters, Light had no reservations about shooting a hateful glance at the metal chain linking him to the detective. He would do anything to just be able to go outside for a few hours. It was a struggle just to get L to open the blinds and let a little sunlight in, so he knew his chances of getting out of the building were ridiculously low.

"Glaring at the handcuffs will not cause them to melt from our wrists, Light-kun."

Light scoffed, readjusting himself in his chair for the thousandth time. "Brilliant deduction. The investigation isn't going anywhere, Ryuzaki. Why can't we take a break?"

"Because it will continue to go nowhere if we do not keep working. And your doodling while you should be working is not helping the investigation at all."

Having just finished sketching L's head onto a roach on the small notepad in front of him, Light proceeded to draw a foot going in for the kill. "As if you staring at the same information for hours on end is doing us any good. I want to get out of this place for a while. It's not like I'm asking you to remove the handcuffs. Just stop keeping me holed up in here like a prisoner." _Or a shut-in like you_, he mentally added, attaching a leg to the foot and feeling rather pleased with himself.

L held a thumb to his lips, nibbling it thoughtfully. "I was not staring. I was contemplating. But I suppose you are not used to staying inside for as long as I am, social butterfly that you are. Where do you propose we go? Keep in mind that I will under no circumstances be removing the cuffs, even for this little outing."

"I know. You've told me about a thousand times already." Light crossed his legs, trying to decide where he wanted to go. A quiet visit to the park sounded nice, and he figured L wouldn't mind it _too _much.

"Light-kun is dramatically exaggerating, as usual."

Oh, that was it. There was no way L was getting by with a little park visit now.

"The gym," Light announced. "You'll be taking me to the gym, and then out to dinner."

The detective gave him a wary look. "Why do you need to go to the gym? And perhaps if you are not so demanding, we can go somewhere to eat."

"I want to go because you make me sit around all day and I don't get any exercise. I don't plan on sitting here and becoming some kind of hideous blob."

"Because Light-kun is obviously in danger of having that happen," L interjected in a bored tone. Light merely narrowed his eyes slightly, standing up from his chair.

"Fine, maybe I'm not, but it's practically too late for you. You're going to get some exercise, too." He punctuated his sentence with a tug on the chain as he walked to the door, insistent on L following him.

"Sticks and stones, Light-kun," the man recited, putting on some ratty tennis shoes and allowing himself to be pulled out of the room. "I suppose you can have your exercise and meal. It _has _been a while since you've gone out. Just refrain from taking too long. Kira will not wait for us to enjoy a night on the town."

"I'll show you a night on the town," Light grumbled quietly as L informed Watari of where they wanted to go.

It was roughly an hour later when they stepped out of the limo in front of a nice looking gym. Light led the way, bringing a bag with some extra clothes and walking inside. L, his slouch as pronounced as ever, looked at the varied exercise equipment with what could only be described as abject horror. Surely the boy he was chained to had to realize how many people had touched, breathed and _sweated _on this machinery. Yet Light still pulled him to the changing rooms as if he hadn't a care in the world, and began taking their spare clothes out of the bag.

"Well?" he gave L an expectant look, waiting for him to unlock the handcuffs for a moment so they could remove their shirts.

"If you want to expose yourself to the bacteria from the strange, sweaty people that have been touching this equipment, you may. But I will not be joining you." L took the key from his pocket, unlocking the metal cuff on Light's wrist and taking no measures to hide the fact that he was watching the boy like a hawk. Light made an indignant noise, snatching the key. He was in no mood for this.

"The equipment is clean, and you have no right to be calling anyone strange! You're exercising, too!" By the time L started to protest, Light had already unlocked the cuff and was trying to forcibly pull the man's shirt over his head.

"Are you attempting to kill me with my own shirt?!"

"I'm trying to get it off you, idiot!" Light huffed, finally yanking the shirt off and leaving the detective with his hair even more tussled than usual and a scowl on his face. The people that weren't already gawking at the two because of the chain quickly excused themselves from the changing rooms.

"Now that you have deeply violated my personal space," the detective spoke, putting on the shirt that Light had packed for him, "give me back the key." After waiting for Light to change his shirt and return the key, L firmly snapped the cuffs back onto their wrists.

"It's not my fault you were being so uncooperative, Ryuzaki."

"And it is not my fault that everyone in the gym now thinks you are some sort of violator." Light just snorted. Happy enough with getting the last word, L allowed Light to pull him back out into the gym and over to a row of treadmills.

"I don't want to hear anymore of your complaining, L," the boy ordered, stepping onto one of the machines. L grudgingly stood on the one next to Light, looking at the controls like they would bite him. Light reached over and turned the knob, then started his own. The detective made an unappreciative noise, beginning to walk.

"Light-kun has still not learned to keep his hands to himself." When Light ignored him for a while, L leaned over and turned the knob on Light's machine, speeding it up to a jog. Light just rolled his eyes, speeding up his pace to match the machine's

"And you're still so very mature." Despite his sarcastic comment, Light upped L's speed right back. Of course L wasn't one to be outdone, and quickly returned the gesture as he tried to keep up. The exchange continued until L finally retaliated by cranking the knob all the way up, causing Light to topple off of the treadmill with a yelp.

Of course he would have felt much more victorious if the boy hadn't grabbed the handcuff chain on the way down and _yanked_ it, leaving them both in a pile on the floor. At this point they were both out of breath and patience, and L declared the gym portion of their little outing to be over as he dragged Light back to the changing rooms. Light didn't protest too much as they changed back into their clothes. He couldn't exactly say he hadn't gotten his workout. He just got it…a bit quicker than he expected. At any rate, he knew fussing at the man would get him nowhere.

"Are we still getting dinner?" He couldn't help looking a little hopeful. The restaurant across the street was one of his favorites, and he wasn't about to give up a chance to go there just because he still wasn't getting along with L.

"I suppose. It's been far too long since my last piece of cake." It took all of Light's willpower not to cringe at the thought of how much cake L had eaten that day.

"The restaurant across the street from here has a nice dessert menu. Lots of cake," he offered with a saccharine smile.

"Lead the way," L shrugged, in the mood for eating rather than arguing. Light wasted no time getting to the restaurant, and managed to get them a seat somewhat away from the disturbed looks of the other diners. Excited to finally have a nice dinner out, Light looked through the menu. While he eyed pictures of lobster and shrimp longingly, L took the small dessert menu and flipped through it. When the time came to order, Light was content with an order of shrimp and a glass of water, while L insisted on trying one of every dessert they had. When the food was brought over, Light practically had to put his plate in his lap to make room for L's feast.

"You can't possibly eat all that."

Light hoped so, anyway. Just the thought of someone ingesting so much sugar in one sitting was enough to make his stomach turn.

"I would not have ordered it if I didn't plan to eat it." At this point L's mouth was already full of some sort of pastry, and Light made a point of giving him a sickened look.

"Disgusting," he muttered, eating his shrimp. L ignored him in favor of trying to finish the mountain of sweets he had ordered in as little time as possible.

Light decided L was much more pleasant to be around when he wasn't talking.

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First chapter. _Yay_. XD This will probably just be a little ficlet...thing. Nothing too epic yet, I just want to make sure I have the patience to get through something before I try starting a bigger one. So, leave reviews, critique me and all that. Just don't be a jerk. I'm sensitive and junk. :I


	2. The Second Day

The rest of the night had gone surprisingly without a hitch. While he should have been horribly paranoid about it, wondering when the next fight would happen, Light found himself feeling pretty relaxed. L had even let him go to bed at an _almost _reasonable hour, provided there weren't any complaints about the man continuing to work while Light slept. Light jumped at the chance, and quickly fell asleep despite L's insistent typing. What the hell was he looking up with the case at such a standstill, anyway?

After falling asleep so much earlier than usual, Light's body managed to wake up early on its own. He yawned as he comfortably slipped back into consciousness, the room still fairly dark. Usually L woke him up by turning the lights on and dragging him out of bed, so he considered this a very good sign. Stretching a bit, he looked over at the detective's side of the bed, wondering if he would have to get up when L realized he was awake. Blinking in surprise, Light sat straight up and kept his eyes on L. The laptop was still on, as usual, its light casting a glow on the man's pale skin. It wouldn't have been strange at all if his usually wide eyes hadn't been closed.

"Is this when you rest?" Light muttered under his breath. "Right before you wake me up?" He pulled the laptop out of L's lap, quietly closing it. "Or maybe you didn't mean to fall asleep?"

L didn't move, still hunched over in his normal sitting position, his head resting on his knees. After a moment of thinking about it, Light reached over, trying to get the man to lie down. After a few failed tries and annoyed, still-asleep noises from L, he finally succeeded and laid back down himself, closing his eyes and hoping for a few more hours of sleep.

"Good morning, Light-kun."

Light mentally vowed to never, ever do a good deed again. L sat up, his owlish eyes fixed on Light. "You appear to be awake earlier than usual."

Light groaned, wondering how L even knew he was awake when he was just lying there. "Yes, Ryuzaki. Now I suppose you want me to get out of this comfortable bed and start the day."

"Yes." Light could have sworn he saw the corners of L's mouth turn up just a little as he stood up, expecting to be followed. "It is time for breakfast."

"Yeah, yeah. His majesty's breakfast cake is waiting." L really did crack a small smile at this, nodding.

"Indeed it is," he agreed, leading the way to the kitchen. Light hmphed, getting himself some coffee. That damn smile was contagious, and he didn't feel like being in a good mood this early in the morning.

"Light-kun is slightly less cranky than he is on other mornings," L stated, searching the fridge for the specific cake he was craving. "Perhaps it is a good idea to let you have a break along with everyone else." Light perked up immediately.

"You're serious? I don't have to work until everyone comes back?"

"That would be what I was implying. I do not enjoy your crankiness in the morning any more than you do, and if a break will alleviate it, then so be it." L sat at the table with a slice of strawberry cheesecake, peeling back the plastic wrap over it. It was all Light could do to keep from grinning. He couldn't remember the last time he had an official day off from the investigation - probably because he hadn't had any, seeing as how L never took a break for himself.

"Great!" In a much better mood now, Light downed the rest of his coffee and made some toast for himself. He crunched into it as L dipped a fork into his cake, both of them eating quietly for a few moments before Light had another thought. "Can we go somewhere again today?"

L blinked thoughtfully, swallowing the last bite of cake. "Somewhere else? Such as where?"

"Well, you know Misa's been pestering me to go out lately. Maybe we can go somewhere with her to appease her for a while."

L looked a bit grim. "I cannot think of a time when she _isn't _pestering you, Light-kun. I suppose we can, but I would expect you to want to do something more pleasant on a day off."

"Hey now, she's not _that _unpleasant to be around. And who says we won't enjoy wherever she wants to go?"

"I say so. She is a strange woman."

"You're pretty strange yourself, but I can still enjoy myself with you." Laughing a little at the odd look L gave him, Light called Misa into the room and asked if she wanted to go on a date that night. L didn't bother to hide his cringe at her excited squeal.

"Of course, Light! Where will we go?! Will you leave the pervert here?!"

"It's your choice. And sorry, but the pervert stays chained to me. You should know that by now, Misa."

"I am not a pervert," L objected, being mostly drowned out by another loud noise, once again courtesy of Misa.

"Oh, it isn't fair! Fine, then…can we go to a nice club? Please, Light? It'll be so romantic! And maybe I can forget L is there with so many people around." She smiled brightly, hoping Light would like her idea.

"Well, if that's what you want. Honestly, can't you two try to get along for a while?"

L looked troubled. "I am not the one causing any problems. And I do not see why our destinations keep becoming more and more uncomfortable for me."

"I'm not fighting, Light! Promise!"

"Misa, let's just...use our inside voices. And it's not that bad, L. You won't get noticed _too _much. Come on, it'll be fun."

Misa pouted, hanging on Light's arm affectionately. "Okay, Light."

"I highly doubt it will resemble any form of fun."

"Oh come on, L. It won't kill you to try it." When L only made a thoughtful noise, Light nodded at Misa. "Go ahead and find somewhere for us to go tonight." With a victorious giggle, Misa went back to her room and started looking through her closet.

"Misa-Misa knows just where to go! All I have to do is pick a cute outfit!"

And after several outfits that L refused to let Misa wear when he had to be seen with her, several fits thrown over it by Misa, and several times Light had to drag her away from the detective, they were finally ready to go.

Light watched Misa retreat to her room, presumably to clean up the mess of clothes she had made, but more likely to put on makeup and fix her hair.

"That took entirely too long, Light-kun."

"Eager to get there, Ryuzaki?" Light teased, grinning a little.

"I'm simply _dying _of anticipation."

L was sure he had never seen Watari quite so confused as when he dropped them off in front of the club Misa had chosen.

"Thank you, Watari. I will call you when we are ready to return to the headquarters." Nodding, Watari drove off as the three of them walked through the entrance.

…And, as L and Light both expected, Misa was almost immediately being flogged by fans of her modeling. Seeming to forget about her date for the moment, she couldn't help but bask in the attention. "I'll be with you in a minute, Light!"

Shaking his head, Light walked to a booth and sat down.

"Who knows how long she'll be busy with those people. And she wonders why I never want to go out with her."

L sat across from him, nibbling his thumb. "It was Light-kun's idea to attempt to appease her with a date."

"I know, I know. I guess it won't be so bad. You know, I sort of like this song."

"I wasn't aware that Light-kun's tastes were so vulgar."

"Oh, come _on_. It's a catchy song. You don't have to be so critical of everything."

"I do not have to, I just want to." As Light was about to reply, Misa managed to break away from her fans for a moment and plopped two large drinks down on their table.

"Here you go, guys. This is for making you wait so long," she explained cheerily. "Oh, they aren't alcoholic or anything!" she quickly added at the raised eyebrow L gave her. He still looked dubious, taking a sniff of his glass and setting it back down on the table.

"No thank you."

"Well you just aren't any fun. Light believes me, don't you, darling?"

"Of course," Light laughed, taking a small sip of his drink. It left a bit of a burning feeling at the back of his throat, but it tasted nice. And he figured it couldn't have had _too _much alcohol in it. At any rate, L hadn't said anything about it, so he wasn't about to pass it up.

"Ha! Well have fun being boring, L. Light, will you dance with me after you finish your drink? Please?"

"He most certainly will not. I do not wish to put myself in the middle of that."

"Light, he's ruining our date! I want to dance!"

"Misa, relax. Why don't you go dance for a while? Maybe L will change his mind later." Light knew there was practically no chance of that happening, but it seemed to calm the girl down.

"Fine. But if we don't get to dance, you have to dance with me sometime. 'Kay?"

"Of course. Now go have fun." And with that, she squeezed her way back into the crowd and left the two with their drinks. L didn't speak for a while, even when Light prompted him. Sulking a little as the detective looked around the room, Light made quick work of finishing his drink. And L's. And the next one Misa brought him.

Okay, so he didn't mean to drink that much. But damn if that drink wasn't 20 different kinds of tasty. He really needed to ask what the name of it was, but at the moment everything suddenly seemed much more…colorful. Except for L. He was still just pale, black and white, stark against the bright background of the club. That made him all the more interesting to look at. So Light did.

"Light-kun?" L frowned in annoyance. "Don't just stare. I knew I should not have let you have that drink. Or those _drinks_, as the case has become. You are nowhere near the age to be drinking, at any rate."

"I never noticed how much you talk before."

"Yes, well, I will continue talking as long as I have something to say."

"Or until something stops you from talking."

"I hardly see what could do that." L had a few more things to say, but he found himself somewhat occupied when Light leaned across the table and all but smashed their lips together.

L had never really kissed anyone before, but he was about 80% certain that it wasn't normally supposed to involve teeth hitting each other and the coppery taste of blood in your mouth. His only response was to level an icy look at the teen, who backed off quickly enough.

"Uh, Ryuzaki-"

"Yagami-kun," L interrupted darkly as he licked some blood from his lip. "I believe it is time for us to go."

After what was perhaps the most awkward car ride of Light's life, they ended up back at the headquarters where L perched in his armchair with the ever-present laptop and refused to budge. Light was still practically reeling from the drinks, wondering what in the name of hell he had just done. He was at least thankful Misa hadn't seen it. He sat on the couch, licking at his lips every now and then as he could _swear_ he tasted L's blood on them. Every time he stole a glance over at L, the man gave him a lesser version of the look he had gotten at the club.

So Light was now chained to an angry detective, who happened to be giving him looks that could freeze hell over.

Well, this was just peachy.

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Longer than the first chapter? Definitely. Less believable? Probably. XD I still had fun writing it. And seriously, if L can tell you're doing it wrong, something is _wrong _with your kissing. Blame it on the alcohol or something, I don't know. :D

Oh, and as for the song Light likes, we'll just say it's some kind of Japanese equivalent to Heart Surgery Isn't That Bad by Jeffree Star. o_o Seriously, am I the only one that would listen to that? Light's right, it's catchy.


	3. The Last Day

Short chapter is very, very short. D: But I just kind of wanted to wrap everything up and give this a nice little open ending. XD I'll be working on But it was Godiva! more now, and possibly starting a new fic sometime soon, in case anyone's interested. Thanks to everyone that read, alerted and reviewed!

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When L announced that Light could go to bed, the teen was still hastily trying to think of a way to diffuse the detective's anger. He had gotten enough of his senses back to realize this was very, very bad, but he couldn't for the life of him figure out how he was going to fix it. L led the way to the bedroom, still not speaking very much, but seeming more calm. Light sat on his side of the bed, stealing another glance at the man.

"Ryuzaki, I just want to apolo--"

"Light-kun." Light hated being interrupted, but at least they were back to a first name basis. That was a good sign, at the very least. "I'm certain you remember what I told you when we had that fight."

"Uh…well, which fight? There have been a lot."

"The one soon after we moved into the new headquarters. Misa was there, if you recall."

Light did remember that…he had thrown the first punch after L mentioned his dismay that the investigation basically had to be started over. And that he had wanted Light to be Kira, of course. But what was L wanting him to remember from that? The man just continued watching him expectantly.

Suddenly one thing that had been said stuck out to him. It was worth a try, anyway. He didn't want L just _looking _at him like that. Light furrowed his eyebrows slightly. "An…eye for an eye?"

"Correct," L said in his usual monotone, sitting down and pressing his lips against Light's.

Light's breath caught in his throat. So this was L's idea of revenge? It couldn't have been, it was too gentle. Almost…pleasant.

Until L clamped his teeth down on Light's lower lip, of course. Light yelped, holding the back of his hand over his mouth when the detective sat back. "What was that for?!"

"For what you did at the club. We are even now."

"That was hardly like what happened!"

"Light-kun wouldn't know, he was drunk."

"I wasn't drunk enough to forget what happened just a few hours ago!" Light glared, grabbing two fistfuls of the man's hair and pulling him in for another kiss.

L wrenched his head away for a moment, not bothering trying to dislodge the teen's hands from his hair. "You made the score uneven again." When L tackled him and continued kissing him, Light was still trying to decide whether this was better or worse than the man just ignoring him angrily. Of course he would have to give it more thought later, when he wasn't busy trying to yank L's shirt over his head. "You're such a petulant child, Ryuzaki!"

"I believe this would be a case of the pot calling the kettle black, Light-kun," the man muttered, moving to take it off himself but stopping when he saw the teen cast a horrified look at the doorway. He followed Light's gaze, blinking thoughtfully. "Oh. Hello Yagami-san." Light just continued looking on in horror as his father coughed awkwardly.

"Er…hello L. Light, your mother wanted me to bring you some dinner…I'll just leave it on the table. I'll see you tomorrow." Soichiro hurriedly excused himself from the room, leaving the food on the table and making his way back home.

"We were just fighting!" Light called after him when he had articulated himself enough to speak again.

"I believe he is already gone. Eat your late dinner now. I want some cake." With a noise of dismay, Light followed the detective to the kitchen.

"Well way to go, Ryuzaki. Now he'll think I'm gay."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry. It's more likely that you are attracted to both genders. About 80%, if you ask me," the man calculated as he retrieved a piece of cake from the fridge.

"I would know better than you. You can't just say something like that."

"No, I do not think you would. I know you very well. And while I'm at it, I believe there is a 90% chance that Light-kun is attracted to _me_."

Light scoffed, his face flushing a little. "There's a 100% chance that you're just conceited."

"Being conceited doesn't make my line of thinking wrong."

"What does it matter, anyway? Even if I did have feelings for you, it's not like you would even do anything about it."

L laughed a little. "I don't believe I mentioned feelings, I mentioned attraction. But thank you for bringing the matter up. And I think you'll see I have already done something about it."

"That didn't count." Light removed the lid from the bowl his father had left, peering into it. The detective handed him a fork and sat at the table.

"Now who's being petulant?"

"You," Light said insistently, eating a little. After few minutes of silence, the man leaned over and pressed his lips to Light's cheek.

"How many more times will it be until it counts, Light-kun?" Light swallowed the bite of food he had been chewing, giving L a contemplative look.

"Keep going, and I'll let you know."


End file.
